Its starting to hit me. Pretty soon we are going to have an actual baby in the house. One that cries, poops, eats, and doesn't let me sleep at all. Pretty soon we are going to have TWO little ones running around. Avah is six now so shes very easy to take care of on a day to day basis. A newborn...not so much. I have completely forgotten what its like. It has also started to hit me that my time is going to be divided among two kids. Avah will not be my only child any more. I will not get to just hop in the car with her and have Avah and mommy time any time we would like. Many second time moms will tell you that during their pregnancy they worried they would not be able to love a second child as much as they love their first. That is 100% the case for me. I already love my little boy, but its just not the same. I know that it wont be until I meet him and hold him in my arms. And from what I understand, my love will be multiplied, not divided. While that's wonderful, its also very, very scary. I love Avah a scary amount...I worry about her constantly. Theres no doubt that those feelings times two will be very overwhelming. Even so, I am so grateful for my life and my family. I couldn't ask for anything better.
With all of that said, the whole oh-my-God-I can't-wait-a-second-more feeling I had all throughout my pregnancy has sort of dissipated. I still cant wait to meet him and I'm still thrilled about it, but I am going to enjoy watching movies with my husband uninterrupted and being able to sit for a couple of hours and cuddle with my daughter. I am going to enjoy being pregnant with what could be our last baby. I am going to relish his little kicks and punches and the look both Justin and Avah get when they feel him kick. I am going to enjoy all of this and patiently wait to meet our boy. Two months with fly by. I can wait two months.
3 comments:
i love this post. that is exactly how i felt when i was pregnant with malcolm... only alanna was 10/11! i was scared to death. but it all worked out, even when malcolm was two weeks early and we were completely unprepared. everything fell into place. you're gonna love having a son as well as a daughter! <3
shit. sorry, that comment above was from me! ha! somehow i wasn't logged in? weird.
Haha! I figured as soon as you started talking about malcolm and alanna that it was from you! Its scary/excited/awesome. I'm just trying to live in the moment instead of live for tomorrow...I've always done that and its just no way to live.
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