A New Day

Avah, waiting to leave for school



Lately I have felt like every day passes so  quickly that its almost like watching my life in a movie. I watch my  two kids grow up before my eyes and its almost like they are running ahead and I can't catch up. My dad tells me nearly every time he talks to me to "spend more time with your kids" and I understand exactly why. They grow up SO fast. He spent so much time working he missed out on a lot and I think it is his biggest regret.

When I was admitted to the hospital to give birth to Hunter I was a whopping 60 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant. I was already about 5-10 pounds larger when I got pregnant than I like to be so I felt like (and was) a whale. Fast forward to five months later and I am still 40 pounds away from my norm. That's a LOT of weight. I have a closet full of size small and medium shirts and size 6 and 8 pants that I cant even think about fitting into. This may not seem like THAT big of a deal to some people but its a huge deal for me because I don't feel like myself. I almost feel like I am suspended in time waiting for "me" to come back...all the while my kids are growing like weeds and my life is going in fast forward around me. I have been really conservative about attempting to lose weight because of breastfeeding, but I need to do this for me. I am trying desperately to find a balance between making enough milk for my son and eating less calories so I will lose weight. It seems like every time I eat less my supply takes a dip. Ill keep you updated on my progress, but I thought I would share my struggles with people. If anyone has any suggestions or advice I would love to hear them!